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We received the “Going Home Barbie” from the White Swan Hotel today. The hotel was really great. Even though they didn’t have any dolls when we were in China, they followed up and sent us one when Mattel did ship them more. The doll was gratis although I covered shipping. It was worth the wait and trouble since now both Hua Mei and Xia Mei each have one. This is what Xia Mei’s Barbie looks like:
Good news. I got an email today from the White Swan Hotel today. They have received a shipment of Going Home Barbies from Mattel Toys. They will be sending us one and we will be paying for shipping and handling. My older sister had inquired about the Barbie while we were at the hotel and the Housekeeping Dept. told her that they would contact us when they came in. Thanks to Grace, now Xia Mei will also have one.
There is an old Chinese story about the “old man under the moon” (月下老人) who is the god of matrimony.
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During the Tang Dynasty, there was a young man named Wei Gu. Once he was passing the city of Songcheng, where he saw an old man leaning on his pack reading a book in the moonlight. Being amazed at it, Wei Gu walked up and asked what he was doing. The old man answered, “I am reading a book of marriage listing for who is going to marry whom. In my pack are red cords for tying the feet of husband and wife.” When Wei Gu and the old man came together to a marketplace, they saw a blind old woman carrying a three-year-old little girl in her arms. The old man said to Wei Gu,” This little girl will be your wife in the future.” Wei Gu thought this was too strange to believe and he ordered his servant to stab the girl with his knife.
Fourteen years later, Wang Tai, the governor of Xiangzhou, gave Wei Gu his daughter in marriage. The daughter was a beautiful young woman, but Wei Gu found that there was a scar between her eyebrows. When he asked what had happened, he was told that she had been stabbed by a man in the marketplace fourteen years before.
The red thread is a popular symbol within the China adoptive community and is symbolic of the link between adoptive parents and their child waiting in China: “An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.”
Today we begin our journey of tracing the red thread to Xia Mei. Our flight leaves at 1 pm this afternoon and we arrive in Beijing at 9 pm tomorrow Nov 19. My next post will be coming from China. I’ll also be posting Flickr slideshows and videos on the mashup I created.
We’ve practically made it. We leave tomorrow for China. We’re pretty much all packed and ready to go. I’ll print out the boarding passes this evening. Our flight leaves tomorrow at 1 pm and we’ll head out to the airport mid-morning. Laurel and Abby will fly into Minneapolis tonight and stay overnight at our house.
In preparation for the flight, Karen and I have been doing the anti-jet lag diet. We did it last time when we went to China and Karen has done it before when she travelled to Europe. I think it helps. China is 14 hours ahead of us. Since I usually can’t sleep on airplanes, I’ll be pretty sleep deprived when I get over there. Last time though, my jet lag wasn’t bad going to China but was far worse coming back to the States.
We’ve made our packing lists and have started to pack. We will be bringing three suitcases to check in and three carry-ons. The latest forecast for Beijing is upper 40 to low fifties for highs with lows in the upper 20s. For Nanchang, the long term fore cast for the time we will be there will have highs in the 60s and lows in the upper 40s. Guangzhou is in the 70s and 80s. it is nice that we won’t have to worry about winter clothes and we can dress layers in Beijing. We are also packing clothes for Olivia.
Karen began her maternity leave on Friday. She’ll have three months off. Grace and Karen took my dad to an assisted living facility for the three weeks that we will be gone. He’ll be staying in an apartment there and will be in memory care during the day. Grace will be doing her packing this weekend. Hopefully we’ll be in pretty good shape by the end of the weekend.
China has a one child policy which stipulates that families have only one child. Families that violate the policy are required to pay fines and might be denied bonuses at their workplace. Parents also have to pay for the schooling of both the children and all the family’s health care. The policy is enforced on the provincial level and so enforcement can vary from region to region.
There are exceptions to the policy though. If the couple are both from an ethnic minority or if both parents are only children, they can have more than one child. Children born overseas do not count under the policy since they aren’t Chinese citizens. Overseas Chinese therefore can have a second child when they return to China. In many rural areas, there is a “one and a half children policy” in which couples are allowed to have a second child if their first born is a girl. It is quite possible that both Hua Mei and Xia Mei have older sisters.
According to a 2007 study, the one child policy has been quite effective in reducing the country’s fertility rate. The average mandated fertility rate for the country is 1.47 children per couple, taking into account the policy exceptions described above. Analysis of China’s census data showed the actual fertility rate was about 1.5 children per couple. The study found that 63 percent of Chinese couples had complied with the one child policy and actual birth rates decreased nearly to the mandated levels.
In Chinese culture there has been a traditional preference for boys. In the old days, when a daughter weds, she become a member of her husband’s extended family. Today, since China does not have a social security system, the older generation depends on the son to support them when they grow old. When you consider that most Chinese retire in their 50s, this puts even greater emphasis on the desire for sons.
The gender ratio in 2005 in China was around 118 boys born to every 100 girls. Based on genetics (go ahead and do the Punnett square), this ratio should be closer to 50:50. A byproduct of the one-child policy has been the number of baby girls who are put up for international adoption.
This sign reads, “It is forbidden to discriminate against, mistreat or abandon baby girls.”
There are a bunch of documents we need to bring to China to formalize the adoption. These are for both the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs and the US Consulate. It was a fairly long process getting all the forms completed, signed, and approved. This week as we were getting everything together, we realized that we were missing an important form from China. On Monday, Karen checked with CHSFS and they told us that they had a copy of it and that they sent it to us on Sep 29. They said that we needed the original for China. Both Karen and I had no recollection of receiving the form but we were afraid that we had somehow misplaced it.
We searched all over the house but could not find it. Our mailbox empties into our front closet so we thought that perhaps it might have fallen to the bottom of the closet and got buried. Unfortunately, this was not the case. We have had occasion when we’ve received neighbor’s mail and they had received ours so we were afraid that perhaps it had gotten lost in the mail. Early Tue morning I sent an email to CHSFS to see if they might be able to put a trace through the post office and to start the process of getting another copy of the document. It being Veterans Day, the post office would be closed.
The only other possibility was that I had put it into our safety deposit box and forgot. I checked there after work on Tue but as I suspected, it was not there. Upon returning home, I checked our phone for messages and there was a message from CHSFS. They had called in the morning and had located the document. It had been left at the front desk for Karen to pick up. Whew.
When Karen came home, I happily greeted her at the door. I figured that she had talked with CHSFS during the day and picked up the document. Anyway, when I told her about the voice message, she nearly collapsed in relief. She didn’t know that the document was found.
So, we are all set for China. We have our visas, our plane tickets, and all the necessary documents. We “just” have to finish packing. At least we have a clean and tidy front closet. One day I’m sure we’ll look back on this episode and laugh. Not.
Here are our contact numbers in China:
Novotel Peace Hotel
3 Jinyu Hutong
Wangfujing
100006 BEIJING
CHINA
Tel (011+86)10/65128833
Fax (011+86)10/65126863
E-mail novotel@novotelpeacebj.com
Gloria Grand Hotel Nanchang
39 Yan Jiang North Avenue
330008 NANCHANG
CHINA
Tel (011+86)791-673-8855
Fax (011+86)791-673-8533
E-mail: gloria@gphnanchang.com
White Swan Hotel
No. 1 Southern Street
Shamian Island
510133 GUANGZHOU
CHINA
Tel (011+86) 20 81886968
Fax (011+86) 20 81861188
E-mail swan@whiteswanhotel.com
Also the contact info for the U.S. Consulate is
U.S. Consulate General Guangzhou
Adopted Children Immigration Visa Unit (ACIVU)
5th Floor Tian Yu Garden
136-146 Lin He Zhong Lu
Tian He District, Guangzhou
www.usembassy-china.org.cn
Tel: (011+86) 20-8121-8000
Fax: (011+86) 20-2884-4420
Also, the contact info for CHSFS is:
Children’s Home Society & Family Services
1605 Eustis Street
St. Paul, MN 55108-1219
We got our daily schedule from David at CHSFS. This should now be our itinerary. The major change is that we will be staying at the Gloria Plaza Hotel in Nanchang rather than the Galactic Peace Hotel.
Nov 18 Depart MSP
Nov 19 Arrive in the evening in Beijing, stay at Novotel Peace Hotel
Nov 20 Visit Forbidden City and Summer Palace
Nov 21 Visit Great Wall at Mutianyu
Nov 22 Sightseeing in Beijing on our own (Beihai Park, Temple of Heaven, …)
Nov 23 Fly to Nanchang, Olivia joins the family, stay at Gloria Plaza Hotel, celebrate Grace’s birthday
Nov 24 Apply for notary and passport
Nov 25 Free time
Nov 26 Sightseeing (visit Mount Lushan?)
Nov 27 Receive notary, Thanksgiving
Nov 28 Receive passport
Nov 29 Fly to Guangzhou, stay at White Swan Hotel
Nov 30 Sightseeing
Dec 1 Take visa picture and medical check, fill out forms
Dec 2 Interview at the Consulate by rep (9 am)
Dec 3 Return to US Consulate to take oath and receive visa (3 pm)
Dec 4 Depart Beijing, arrive Minneapolis (leave hotel at 5:30 am)
Only two more weeks before our trip.
I’ve created a mashup for our trip to get Xia Mei. You can access the site from this link. Right now there is a Google map showing the hotels that we will be staying at and possible locations that we may visit while in Beijing, Nanchang and Guangzhou. I plan to add Flickr slideshows of the photos we take during our visit and perhaps YouTube videos that I might make. There will also be an rss feed from this blog. I plan to continue blogging here during the trip.
